How about asking..?

​Since my conditions progressed and I can no longer do things which for me, where perfectly normal… My attitude changed. I noticed things I said to others with conditions like my own… Did not go down as well with “Healthy people.”

When I say I’m a crazy cripple lady, people tell me “You can’t say that!” I don’t understand why not? I would never call another that (unless they find it amusing like me). It’s a thing that helps me cope with how much my life has changed. I used to run, hike geocache for hours on end. I used to work, study, go to the pub. My conditions aren’t a separate thing. They interact with almost every single element of my life.
To you my comments may seem fatalistic, but to me, they are my coping mechanism. Just as after a funeral people tell jokes and stories, this is how I, and many others cope with their changes in their lives.
My partner has ulcerative colitis. He has been flaring badly for over a year a day without blood is odd to him now. Because of his condition his chances of cancer are increased. To deal with this be jokes about it. He is not joking about Cancer and people who suffer with it. He is coping with what could be very real in his future.
To be told we are not allowed to do this….helps nothing. You may feel good telling us not to laugh about such serious matters… You will forget about it… But to us you might have snatched a coping mechanism that helps us deal every single day, with what you cannot bear to here for a few minutes?
This rant actually came from a comment about my rabbit. He has E.C. A few months ago suddenly his back legs stopped working. He is healing, he has movement back. The amount of people who said “just put him down” is staggering. He is in no pain, he still moves around, he eats, he plays, he cuddles, he punches me when I don’t play quick enough. So why would I kill him because his care got harder?
He is in a nappy now as he struggles not to pee on himself. His legs are wrapped as damage was done before a vet bothered to tell us. We chuckle about him being in a nappy with pink bandaged legs. I’ve been told I’m being cruel… But really telling a person in a wheel chair to give up on a rabbit because his back legs were not working? What is worse really.
People tell disabled people to look past there disabilities… Yet people see disabled people as things they can use to feel better. When someone helps me with my wheelchair they feel good, they did a good deed right? But did they ask? Its surprising how many people take control of my chair. Its terrifying, my mobility is suddenly under the control of a stranger. It is terrifying and leaves me feeling helpless… Don’t forget, this is our life. How we cope is not for you to correct. Simply put you don’t understand. Instead of taking control and deciding for us… How about asking?

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