So I saw this article… One of my partners sent it to me. Everything was utterly awful enough until I got to the comment on it… Then I had to make a post. Which meant I actually had to sign up to the sun which generally made me feel icky as it is.
I’ll post a link. But if you want to avoid going to the awesome website (eugh) such as the sun in going to pay a bit from it here…
TMI This mum just posted a photo of her and her husband after their ‘quickie’ sex… and every woman in Britain can relate to it
The link is self has it as something every woman in Britain can relate too….
“I mean I’ve been turning him down for long enough I actually felt bad.”
“Knowing it was only going to take a few minutes and I’ll have a day of any food I want to eat, listen to any music I want and an early night. Sounds delightful right?”
Delightful. Being constantly nagged into doing something you don’t want to do until you are pressured and guilted enough to just give in and have sex when you don’t want it.
No. That is not delightful. Not even a tiny bit. That is bloody awful and her partner shouldn’t even want to be having sex on those terms! Enthusiastic, continuous,consensual. That’s how it should be. That would be awesome.
Now I’ve mentioned being asexual before, one if the things that got me in my very first relationships. The very first time I had sex. I didn’t really want it. I didn’t get what the big deal was. I didn’t get why he brought it up over and over until he just wrote me down and I gave in. Afterwards I was a good girlfriend, that’s what I was meant to do. Without that in s bad girlfriend who is cruel.
And we can try to put this down to ‘it’s teenagers’. But people learn this behaviour. It gets them sex with people who doesn’t really want it. Not sure why you would want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex and maybe they get some pressure out of breaking someone down till they give in… Maybe being asexual I just don’t get it because to me is just wrong and leaves me feeling the need to jump into a scalding hot bath and scrub my skin raw till you can see blood spots under the surface.
This isn’t restricted to “teens”, it carries on into adulthood. No I’m not just saying “it’s evil men at fault!” because it isn’t. I’ve been in enough asexual place to see posts from men where they are pressured into sex they don’t want, and for them they don’t even get to have it as a shared experience that women aparently have. If the article eat in the reverse there would likely be posts of men offering to take hey of his hands and he should be lucky. Ignoring how he ACTUALLY feels!
But yes. At the end of the article where the woman explains she gave in for a quickie so she could actually enjoy the rest of her day guilt free,there was a comment.
So he has to beg and beg before she agrees, i women wonder why men stray
I wasn’t going to comment… I really wasn’t… Then I started typing and I have this habit when I start typing…. I keep darned typing! Its an awful habit of mine… So here is my reply… And I’ll finally stop typing!
My reply ;
So he ignores her wishes and the fact she doesn’t want to until she finally gives in to something she doesn’t really want to do, just so he stops nagging her constantly and makes her feel guilty.
People living with a count down over their heads. Men and women, being told they have to have sex, even if they don’t want to because other wise they are being horrible.
Men and women cheat because they want to. Instead of nagging and bullying your partner into sex they don’t want. Try having s conversation as to why they don’t. If it’s an incompatibility of sex drives maybe a compromise could be made as a Polyamerous relationship. Consensual non monogamy.
People nagging, guilting and pressuring there partners into sex they don’t want until they feel they have no choice is not good. Using that as an excuse to cheat is cruel. Its no ones fault but the cheating individual and trying to blame that on the innocent party isn’t fair.
Especially one who is living with a constant pressure of a count down on their head about when they have to give in and have sex again. Do people not realise if you get sex this way your partner is more likely to want to avoid it in the future seeing as they didn’t want it that time… Think what that does to the mind. They might not even realise it but this can take a toll on the mind and might even end up in pain during sex and other problems.
Enthusiastic consensual sex is a lot better than a nagged guilted partner doing it to ‘get it over with’ just think what you would pervert and maybe try using an actually conversation WITHOUT putting pressure, guilt or anything on your partner. Just an actual open conversation.
I’m going to go and drown myself in a book to make my brain feel better…
Oh I got a reply! Delightful!